I have been married to this guy for 21 years, and have recently started divorce proceedings due to the fact that he is mentally abusive and a cheater. Yes, I stayed with him that long. He kept telling me that I lived in my own fantasy world and my mind made stuff up that I believed.....because my mind is gone and I am crazy. He had me believing that I couldn't tell reality from fiction and my mind was making up false stories just to start trouble, and without him here to help me I couldn't survive.
I started therapy sessions and found that I am perfectly sane....but he is a perfect sociopath/psychopath..... He has repeatedly belittled me over the years and I now have major panic attacks and anxiety over everyday situations.
He is a master manipulator and will start to tear your mind apart as soon as he has you under his spell.
I have recently learned from his grown daughter that her mom did indeed lose part of her mind to this man and has been medicated since he disappeared from her life. Turns out that he left the house one night and never returned and married me not more that 6 months later!
Please tread very carefully around this one. He is the perfect man and will say all the right things. How much he cares for you, how his last wife was just a B**** and she was crazy and he had no choice but to leave, even tho he really wanted to stay and help her, he was just too hurt to stay.
BEWARE LADIES!!!!!!!
He flashes $100.00 bills around to appear wealthy and used a whole bunch of our money to buy Corvettes and a Fiero to make himself look more appealing to women.
In the picture provided he is in the middle wearing the orange T-shirt
I have learned that sociopaths look completely normal and approachable. This list shows common features and describes the behavior of sociopaths:
* Glibness and Superficial Charm
Boy, can he lay on the charm. He has the ability to pick up on the smallest of clues to your personality then use it at you with all sorts of things you want to hear from someone you think could spend the rest of your life with... then;
* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
There is no pointing out any alternative side to any issue with this man, he will counter it with his own "logic" that will never be penetrated. Loves to make everyone else feel inferior when possible
* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
* Incapacity for Love
yet he professes an endless search for the perfect woman
* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
* Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. |
